I don’t really know much about it, but i do know that if he’s accepted he won’t see U.S. soil for 3 yrs. I don’t think I can handle him being gone that long. We were gonna get married once i finished college and start a family, but he says that he has to be single in order to go. I feel this way because he just got back from Iraq in April and could be going to Afghanistan the same time next year. How should i tell him about how i feel?
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What you feel is definitely not selfish. Although it is his life and he can make the decisions he feels are best, being with you was a decision he made, and that should be considered more than anything simply for that fact that affects more than his life- it affects yours. It might be hard to bring up at first, but it’s important that you let him know exactly what’s going through your head. From what I’ve learned from my own experience, the consequence of not saying things is far worse than what happens when you don’t say anything at all. If he feels that being away from you and spending more time over there is what’s most important to him right now, then you may want to let him know that you can’t wait forever for him to do what he wants to do and disregard what you want to do.
Be strong. Your devotion to him isn’t whats in question because you gave up years of your life to wait for him. Let him know that if he loves you, it shouldn’t be so easy for him to give up more.
If HE wants it and YOU don’t then it is very selfish. Think of it this way: three years of Embassy duty is three years he isn’t going to be sent to Iraq and Afghanistan (unless he’s going to their embassies). If you and him are meant to be together then three years isn’t going to stop you from being with him. Also, since you are a civilian there is nothing stopping you from getting a visa for the country he is going to assuming it isn’t a hostile country. I’m not familiar with ALL of the rules of being assigned to an embassy but I do know that being married doesn’t automatically DQ you from duty, although being married to a non-US citizen could cause problems. You should ask him to confirm the requirements for the embassy he is applying for.
It is not selfish for you to feel that way, but if that is the career path he wants to take, you should support him. I don’t think it would be right for you to make him feel bad about what he has chosen to do, so I would tell him how it makes you feel, but also let him know that you support him in all his endeavors. If you can’t do that, then he may not be the guy for you.
You can tell him but many military career guys just do it that way .
When marrying a GI , have No illusions .
You need to realize that many GI wives see their husbands a couple months per year .
Only get married if you can handle long long long deployments ,
Oh , and did I mention Re Occurring deployments ?
Tell him but do not expect a change of duty .
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It is not selfish! You have been planning your life with this person and now he just tells you that he might not be in the U.S. for 3 years? I am not saying that there is a right or wrong answer to how you should feel or what you or he should do, but what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You have to tell him how you feel. If he still goes, then maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
This is a tricked question there is a love side to the story which is you, and a what his heart wants to do, which is him, so my answer would be yes, did he ever stop you from doing what you wanted, and I do understand that you love him, but let the men find his own path.
ALOT of couples do this. I don’t think it really “Selfish” but you do need to consider what good it would do for him. And if this is what he wants you should support him. You guys can still stay in touch and he could come and see you often.
I understand that you dont want him to go, but you really should be supportive of him…especially if it’s something he really wants. I’d feel the same way if my hubby was sent to do something like that…it’s what comes with being a military wife/gf/fiance though.
yes, you dont care about what he wants, only what you want and what you want him to want. its all about you, you you you. everything can be stemmed back to you.
tell him how you feel, but yes, it is selfish. if you love him enough you’ll wait. But make sure you know that if the tables were turned hed wait for you
No. I wouldn’t want him to go off on some hopeless crusade and risk his life for nothing either. He’s just a dumb kid. Naive and easily manipulated. He doesn’t know what’s good for him.
yes u should, your talking about spending the rest of your life with this man, you tell whatever is on your mind, and embassy duty is dangerous by the way
No, you don’t know that he won’t see American soil for 3 years because it isn’t true.
You are just making things up.
Get a life an leave him alone.
Someday you will learn that there is more to life than what you want.
Thank God!
it not selfish. you cant help how you feel and its common for family and friends of military people to feel that way.
depens if u are gonna be like all over him but he needs a job and the army is a good job
yes because he probably really wants it so if you love something you have to set it free
no
yes… because you are just thinking in you!!!
is it selfish to not let a u.s soldier go into war to save his loved ones?
It is a little selfish but in the nicest way. I wouldn’t want my hubby to be away from me either.
From what you say though, I am not sure he is all that committed to you, anyway. He keeps going away which doesn’t necessarily mean anything as he is in the military. How many tours of duty does he have to do? I don’t understand the “has to be single” line. Combined with his going away all the time it sounds like he’s not as committed to your relationship as you are.
In what job do you have to be single? Well, I guess a priest has to be single.
It is hard on a marriage when someone has to go away but not impossible, it has been done countless times. It sounds like he just doesn’t want to give it a shot.
Its not selfish at all.. I would act the same way ;/
idk and youre not being selfish but you need to tell him girl!!!